Q: Why Do Men Become Sleepy After Orgasm/Masturbation/Sex?

Short of giving you a lesson in biology, lets just say that is how the male body reacts. Of course everyone is different, but often after sexual activity a chemical is released that makes men feel a bit drowsy. For women a chemical is released that results in the desire to feel close to their partner.

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Q: Should A Pre-Pubescent Boy/Girl Be Masturbating?

There’s no right or wrong answer here. Being comfortable with your body and exploring your sexuality is a good thing. By telling children they should NOT play with themselves you create an unhealthy view of sex, which can poison their adult relationships. However everything in moderation. It helps to have a discussion about these things and let your children know they can always come to you. At the very least you can let them know, there is a time and place for such things. It’s better you properly educate your children than ignoring the issue and them learning the wrong things.

Q: How Can A Girl Get A Vibrator Without Their Parents Or Family Finding Out?

Well, if you are underage it’s generally not recommended, however there are many everyday products that women have used as vibrators. (e.g. back & neck massagers) However if you are of age, there are still discrete choices for you. Today there are many vibrators disguised as something else like: lipstick, rubber ducky, cell phone, cone, etc.

Here’s an email from a reader:

Love your site — I feel exactly as you do! In fact, I have been preparing a book to liberate, revalue, and empower autoeroticists for over a year. So much of the erotica on the net generally focuses on women as the only legitimate erotic beings, a vaginocentric culture, if you will. With a lifetime of experience and having read everything I could find, both clinical and nonclinical, I have long wanted to see INTRA-personal relationships come out of the closet. I feel that a lot of the anger, the competition between men, and that stresses between men and women can be reduced if we as men accept ourselves as legitimate, beautiful, and erotic beings– and the first step is making love to ourselves.

Personally, I started out at nine years old with a friend–we thought we had INVENTED it. I was trying to find out if we could get a patent at the point when we discovered we were not the first to discover it!

Following, please find the preface, the Bill of Rights, that begins the book. I would love to hear your thoughts on it, and have it posted on your site.

[Webmaster's note: My thoughts? I concur wholeheartedly! Looking forward to your book!!]

The Autoeroticist’s Bill of Rights

I. Your body belongs to you, what you do with it is your decision, your right, and your pleasure.

II. You deserve all the pleasure you can get from your body. You feed it, you clothe it, you shelter it. You should freely enjoy making love to it, and to yourself as a person, joyously.

III. Everything about your body is beautifully human. Your arms, legs, face, hands, chest, nipples, belly, back, ass, balls, and your beautiful cock all should be celebrated, accepted and embraced as part of your humanity. Being male makes you no less valid as a sexual being than a woman, and touching yourself is as desirable and as pleasurable as touching another. You should have no hate or fear of any part of yourself or your sexuality.

IV. You should be your own best lover. You owe it to yourself to discover every bit of your sensuality, sexuality, and eroticism.

V. You should always treat yourself as you would a woman (or man) you would give anything to make love to. Always give your best. Always accept your best.

VI. Your sexuality and spirituality are never in conflict. If you feel that they are, society has tricked you into hating a part of your natural, human self. Do not be tricked. Accept yourself, Love yourself, and Cherish time spent making love to yourself.

VII. Never be ashamed of anything you do in bed with yourself.

VIII. Knowledge of self, sexually, spiritually, intellectually, and psychologically is a positive thing, it is the path to enlightenment.

IX. Until you are complete in your own sexuality, you will never be totally free is sharing your sexuality with another. Making love to yourself regularly, thoughtfully, and well will make you a great lover, whether you are with yourself or someone else.

Keep up the great work!!!

Q: Can Female Masturbation Tighten Your Vagina?

No. While it can improve muscle tone, it won’t make much difference in tightening your vagina. If this is your desire, look into doing kegel exercises.

Q: Is There A Problem If Your Semen Doesn’t Shoot Out, And Only Dribbles?

Generally speaking, no. It’s different for different people. However if you are concerned feel free to discuss this with your doctor. They can discuss this with you in a more personal way regarding your health and other factors.

Q: Will Masturbation Hurt The First Time?

Generally speaking, no. It shouldn’t hurt the first time, and if it does, perhaps you are doing something wrong! Just take it nice and slow, and learn how your body reacts.

Q: Can Regular Masturbation Affect My Ability To Have Children Later?

No, masturbation does NOT have a direct affect on your ability to have children. However underwear choice is often something to keep in mind such that tighter underwear makes things warmer which isn’t as good for the sperm as say wearing boxers, which allow breathing room.

Q: How Far/Long Does Semen Usually Shoot?

It has been seen in men to range from trickling out, to shooting 1-3 feet. Some studies have shown that semen traveling out of the penis can go up to 27 MPH. Many feel that the force of ejaculation decreases with age, however it can be somewhat affected by his overall health, and the activity during orgasm… such that continued stimulation might yield a better result than stopping.

Q: Do Married Men Normally Masturbate?

Yes, men of all ages, both single and in a relationship masturbate. Some women may be concerned why he may masturbate if he has a partner. Well, sometimes he just wants to scratch that itch. However if you want you could become part of this masturbation by joining him, or give him something to masturbate about, or do it for him.