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Have you noticed the way today’s teenagers hide their bodies? Remember the ’60s and ’70s and even the early ’80s? The popular teenage bathing suit was a bikini. All summer the boys were bare-chested and skin was in.
Then, things changed. You’ve seen those baggy shorts and baggy shins, everything sold in one size–large. The most popular teenage garment on earth would be burlap sacks if anyone manufactured them with holes for heads and arms. Poet and novelist Kevin Esser captured the problem and the longing for the good old days in a poem published in Volume III, Number 2 of Gayme:
Too late for these boys to save themselves now.
Something honest and beautiful has already been stolen,
a generation has already been turned against itself.
Wait, perhaps, for the next millennium
to see boys once again embrace their own loveliness,
to see them strip away the ugly layers of suspicion
and phobia and erotic denial.
Wait for that distant day as a small step back
toward a freedom that once glowed briefly,
but joyously like a bold renaissance sun.
Most teenagers today in the United States and England and to a lesser extent elsewhere seem to have basically two choices when it comes to their sexuality: They can deny it with baggy clothes and be forced into a life of hypocrisy through shameful rather than celebrative solo sex; or they can express their sexuality in inappropriate and illegal ways.
Our local newspaper recently reported about a 15-year-old boy who was sent to prison for the attempted rape of an 11-year-old girl. I hate rape. It is as blasphemous as committing murder with a crucifix. So what alternative does our society give that kid? It says abstain. Last year the Pope condemned masturbation. Society condemns fooling around with another guy. And forget about an adult partner altogether. Any man who would think about having sex with a kid today should have his head examined. One mother actually said she’d have preferred the pederast to have murdered her son rather than have sex with him. Another mother got off virtually free after murdering her son’s abuser in front of a courtroom full of witnesses.
So, what’s the answer? This sexually needy teen male thought it might be rape. If these kids were starving for food instead of sex, the decent people of our society would give them feasts. We’re not a selfish people; we’re generous as can be. Instead, they’re starving for sex, and we offer them sermons instead of solutions. Why? Because this God-given appetite for sex is one we think they shouldn’t have. It’s immoral. It’s sinful.
But as Ann Landers wrote last December (1997) in a repeat of the column on masturbation that won her the first annual Golden Phallus Award, “Sex drive is the strongest human drive after hunger. It’s nature’s way of perpetuating the human race. Males reach their sexual peak as early as seventeen. There must be an outlet. I’m recommending self-gratification or mutual masturbation, whatever it takes to release the sexual energy. This is a sane and safe alternative to intercourse, not only for teenagers but also for older men and women who have lost their partners. I do not want to hear from clergymen telling me it’s a sin. The sin is making people feel guilty about responding to this basic, fundamental human drive.”
Let’s help kids to start feeling good about feeling good. Let’s tell them sex is okay, and then we can begin telling them how to do it safely and responsibly.
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