Being caught masturbating is generally a horrifying thing, both for the person being caught and the person who finds you. But what if I told you there was a simple discreet toy that you could masturbate with? And I mean so discreet that if someone saw it casually in passing they wouldn’t make much of it? Sound interesting? Well do I have a treat for you.

• Caught in the act?
• Caught wanking?
• Caught polishing your pearl?
• Caught masturbating?

This is something that worries most people as we feel masturbating is something that should be done in privacy. It is this fear that causes us to develop the habit of hiding our sexuality and becoming ashamed of it. We do it in the dark, or turn on the stereo or tv to drown out the noise.

But what is the consequence if you are:

• caught wanking
• caught beating around the bush

Usually the person who catches you IN THE ACT is just as embarrassed if not MORESO. We know that we all masturbate, so there’s no big secret in that regard. If you are just caught by anyone they are usually too embarrassed to say anything. But some might try to hide their embarrassment by making a scene and putting it all on you.

Parents and a lover or spouse take a different approach though. Parents never want to see their children as adults so they tell kids not to masturbate, that it’s bad for them. Some avoid the topic altogether. Now a lover or spouse? They definitely approach this in a different manner. You lover or spouse can be aroused and want to watch or join in, or even become upset because they worry how this might affect their sex life. We may not want to but it’s best to discuss it with your spouse or lover. People have different approaches to this, and it’s best to know. I mean if you can have sex with them what could it hurt to discuss masturbation and how you both feel about it?

For some the thrill of getting caught makes everything more exciting. Your heart is racing, and everything feels more vibrant. You can ear every creak in the floor, and you sense of tough is heightened as well. So for those people this can transfer into their sex life as they like to have sex with a partner in public places. The idea of sharing this experience with someone with the added thrill of possibly getting caught just drives them wild. Because really. What’s the worst that can happen? They catch you and tell you to cut that out? Or just leave you alone to finish?

For some the thrill of getting caught makes everything more exciting. Your heart is racing, and everything feels more vibrant. You can ear every creak in the floor, and you sense of tough is heightened as well. So for those people this can transfer into their sex life as they like to have sex with a partner in public places. The idea of sharing this experience with someone with the added thrill of possibly getting caught just drives them wild. Because really. What’s the worst that can happen? They catch you and tell you to cut that out? Or just leave you alone to finish?

For some the thrill of getting caught makes everything more exciting. Your heart is racing, and everything feels more vibrant. You can ear every creak in the floor, and you sense of tough is heightened as well. So for those people this can transfer into their sex life as they like to have sex with a partner in public places. The idea of sharing this experience with someone with the added thrill of possibly getting caught just drives them wild. Because really. What’s the worst that can happen? They catch you and tell you to cut that out? Or just leave you alone to finish?

But we need to relax. There is nothing wrong with a few healthy strokes. The consequences while embarrassing, are never as bad as we think. So, if you’re in the comfort of your home here are some things to remember:

1. LOCK the door. Make sure it’s locked and not just closed
2. Make sure you have something handy for clean up (e.g. tissues)
3. Grab something to set the mood (music, porn, candles, etc.)
4. Select something to drown out the noise if you have roommates or neighbors to worry about
5. Relax… and have fun

Now to end things off on a light note. Here’s a few fun masturbating phrases:

Masturbation Slang

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Laws have been passed in the U.S.A. against many sexual activities. Among them are these state regulations against:

ADULTERY – Illegal in 28 states including: AL, AZ, CA, CO, FL, GA, ID, IL, KS, MD, MA, MI, MN, MS, NE, NV, NH, NY, NC, ND, OK, RI, SC, TN, UT, VA, WV, WI

UNMARRIED SEX — Illegal in 9 states including: GA, ID, MA, MS, NC, RI, SC, UT, VA

LIVING TOGETHER UNMARRIED — Illegal in 32 states including: AK, AZ, AR, CA, DE, FL, HI, ID, IL, IN, IA, KS, KY, MI, MN, MO, MT, NE, NV, NH, NY, ND, OH, OR, PA, SD, UT, WA, WV, WI, WY and Washington, D.C.

PROSTITUTION — Illegal in all states except for Nevada

PORNOGRAPHY — Illegal in 28 states including: AR, CO, CT, GA, HI, ID, IA, LA, ME, MI, MN, MO, MT, ND, NE, NV, NJ, OH, OK, OR, RI, SD, TX, VA, WA, WV, WI, WY

CHILD PORNOGRAPHY – Illegal in 36 states including: AL, AK, AR, CA, DE, FL, GA, ID, IN, KS, KY, LA, MD, MA, MN, MO, NE, NV, NJ, NH, NM, NC, ND, OH, OK, OR, PA, SC, SD, TN, TX, UT, VA, WA, WV, WI

VISIBLE ERECTION (even if clothed) — Illegal in 19 states including: AZ, FL, GA, ID, IN, MA, MS, NE, NV, NY, OH, OK, OR, SD, TN, UT, WA, WI, VT

ORAL SEX (with opposite & same sex) — Illegal in 17 states including: AL, AZ, FL, GA, ID, KS, LA, MA, MN, MS, NC, OK, OR, RI, SC, UT, and Washington, D.C.

ORAL SEX (with same sex only) — Illegal in 7 states including: AR, MD, MT, MO, NV, TN, TX

ANAL SEX (with opposite & same sex) — Illegal in 15 states including: AL, AZ, FL, GA, ID, LA, MN, MS, NC, OK, RI, SC, UT, VA, and Washington, D.C.

ANAL SEX (with same sex only) — Illegal in 9 states including: AR, KS, MD, MA, MO, MT, NV, TN, TX

AGE OF CONSENT
13 – 1 state (NM)
14 – 3 states (HI, IA, MS)
15 – 2 states (CT, VA)
16 – 26 states (AL, AR, DE, GA, ID, IL, IN, KS, KY, MD, MA, MI, MN, MT, NV, NC, ND, OH, OK, PA, RI, SC, SD, VT, WV & Washington, D.C.)
17 – 5 states (LA, MO, NE, NY, TX)
18 – 10 states (AK, AZ, CA, CO, FL, NH, NJ, TN, UT, WI)

[The above was adapted from an article in a 1993 issue of Passionate Living magazine. Laws change. If you have more up-to-date information, e-mail us.]

Masturbating Could Be Illegal, Too–
According to the book Sexual Behavior and the Law, it is illegal in the states of Indiana and Wyoming to “encourage a person to masturbate.” Granted, the book by Samuel G. Kling is old (1965) but we will bet the laws are still on the books. If you know of the status of these laws, let us know. We’d hate to be presumed guilty of encouraging anyone living in Indiana or Wyoming to masturbate! If you do it in those states, and you’re cought, simply say it was your idea and please deny that SOLO had anything to do with your wicked self-pleasuring.

Too Many Dildos Are Illegal in Texas!
Ownership of one or two dildos, even six, is fine in Texas. But if you have more than that, you may be arrested! That’s right. It’s apparently illegal to own more than six dildos in that state — and in Georgia, too, we understand. The presumption is that if you have more than six you are going to sell the things. Dildos are classified by the Texas law as “obscene devices” which are illegal to sell. The code defines “obscene devices” as “a device, including a dildo or artificial vagina, designed or marketed as useful, primarily, for the stimulation of human genital organs.” They are considered “dangerous” and courts have held the law is proper because it is in the state’s interest to protect order (order??) and morality. There have been prosecutions under this law! It sure is gratifying that the lawmakers are diligently passing these laws to protect family values in Texas, in the heartland of conservative, Bible-belt America! We think it’s yet another example of the self-righteous trying to regulate the sexual expression of others. (Source: Houston Press, Nov. 18, 1993)

Several other states ban sale of vibrators!
Shocking intrusion into our bedrooms! Click to read this article

Also, there’s a brand new book out which documents the history of vibrators. The Technology of Orgasm by Rachel Maines (Johns Hopkins University Press, 1999) has written a fascinating account. Read about it on the Johns Hopkins University Press website.

Are There More Silly Sex Laws?
We are sure there are. If you have the text of some local or state laws, send them in. And here’s a warning: Some self-righteous lawmakers in state legislatures and Congress are still at it. Dumb laws regulating sexual behavior are still being written and some of them, unfortunately, are being passed and enforced. We need to fight for our rights; write your senators and representatives about your feelings on bad legislation and encourage their support of good bills.

We hope to use this website to keep you informed about legislative matters concerning sexual rights.

Safety during masturbation is very important. You may wonder what safety has to do with it, but many have been injured due to creative masturbation. And this applies to women as much as it does to men.

You want to be very careful what you choose to masturbate with. Many seek to use simple household products to masturbate. This can have both it’s up and downs. Some things to avoid are:

• Powerful electric appliances such as vacuums
• Using fruits and vegetables that can break off or cause a rash/infection from vigorous use
• Hard rigid surfaces that can damage your genitals and desensitize them
• Sharing sex toys (this can pass along any STDs the person may have)
• Using hot or cold objects can cause immediate damage or desensitize your genitals

Masturbation is fun, but it’s important to be safe. This sounds boring but it’s true. There are many horror stories online about people who have horribly mutilated their genitals due to masturbation with unusual objects.

So if you’re going to masturbate here are some things to remember:

• Lube: It moisturizes the skin, and keeps you from rubbing yourself RAW
• Toys: They’re fun but make sure it’s intended for masturbation.
• Try and find a nice private place. You can hurt yourself if you’re startled.
• Mutual masturbation can be fun, and is considered safe sex. But it does lead to other things.

So be safe and enjoy yourself. Masturbation can be fun alone or with a partner. But don’t do anything on the spur of the moment that might damage your body.

Q: Why Do Men Become Sleepy After Orgasm/Masturbation/Sex?

Short of giving you a lesson in biology, lets just say that is how the male body reacts. Of course everyone is different, but often after sexual activity a chemical is released that makes men feel a bit drowsy. For women a chemical is released that results in the desire to feel close to their partner.

Q: Should A Pre-Pubescent Boy/Girl Be Masturbating?

There’s no right or wrong answer here. Being comfortable with your body and exploring your sexuality is a good thing. By telling children they should NOT play with themselves you create an unhealthy view of sex, which can poison their adult relationships. However everything in moderation. It helps to have a discussion about these things and let your children know they can always come to you. At the very least you can let them know, there is a time and place for such things. It’s better you properly educate your children than ignoring the issue and them learning the wrong things.

Q: How Can A Girl Get A Vibrator Without Their Parents Or Family Finding Out?

Well, if you are underage it’s generally not recommended, however there are many everyday products that women have used as vibrators. (e.g. back & neck massagers) However if you are of age, there are still discrete choices for you. Today there are many vibrators disguised as something else like: lipstick, rubber ducky, cell phone, cone, etc.

Here’s an email from a reader:

Love your site — I feel exactly as you do! In fact, I have been preparing a book to liberate, revalue, and empower autoeroticists for over a year. So much of the erotica on the net generally focuses on women as the only legitimate erotic beings, a vaginocentric culture, if you will. With a lifetime of experience and having read everything I could find, both clinical and nonclinical, I have long wanted to see INTRA-personal relationships come out of the closet. I feel that a lot of the anger, the competition between men, and that stresses between men and women can be reduced if we as men accept ourselves as legitimate, beautiful, and erotic beings– and the first step is making love to ourselves.

Personally, I started out at nine years old with a friend–we thought we had INVENTED it. I was trying to find out if we could get a patent at the point when we discovered we were not the first to discover it!

Following, please find the preface, the Bill of Rights, that begins the book. I would love to hear your thoughts on it, and have it posted on your site.

[Webmaster's note: My thoughts? I concur wholeheartedly! Looking forward to your book!!]

The Autoeroticist’s Bill of Rights

I. Your body belongs to you, what you do with it is your decision, your right, and your pleasure.

II. You deserve all the pleasure you can get from your body. You feed it, you clothe it, you shelter it. You should freely enjoy making love to it, and to yourself as a person, joyously.

III. Everything about your body is beautifully human. Your arms, legs, face, hands, chest, nipples, belly, back, ass, balls, and your beautiful cock all should be celebrated, accepted and embraced as part of your humanity. Being male makes you no less valid as a sexual being than a woman, and touching yourself is as desirable and as pleasurable as touching another. You should have no hate or fear of any part of yourself or your sexuality.

IV. You should be your own best lover. You owe it to yourself to discover every bit of your sensuality, sexuality, and eroticism.

V. You should always treat yourself as you would a woman (or man) you would give anything to make love to. Always give your best. Always accept your best.

VI. Your sexuality and spirituality are never in conflict. If you feel that they are, society has tricked you into hating a part of your natural, human self. Do not be tricked. Accept yourself, Love yourself, and Cherish time spent making love to yourself.

VII. Never be ashamed of anything you do in bed with yourself.

VIII. Knowledge of self, sexually, spiritually, intellectually, and psychologically is a positive thing, it is the path to enlightenment.

IX. Until you are complete in your own sexuality, you will never be totally free is sharing your sexuality with another. Making love to yourself regularly, thoughtfully, and well will make you a great lover, whether you are with yourself or someone else.

Keep up the great work!!!

Q: Can Female Masturbation Tighten Your Vagina?

No. While it can improve muscle tone, it won’t make much difference in tightening your vagina. If this is your desire, look into doing kegel exercises.

Q: Is There A Problem If Your Semen Doesn’t Shoot Out, And Only Dribbles?

Generally speaking, no. It’s different for different people. However if you are concerned feel free to discuss this with your doctor. They can discuss this with you in a more personal way regarding your health and other factors.

Q: Will Masturbation Hurt The First Time?

Generally speaking, no. It shouldn’t hurt the first time, and if it does, perhaps you are doing something wrong! Just take it nice and slow, and learn how your body reacts.