Jerking off can get pretty messy. Here are some ways to make it a little less messier.

Cleaning Up After Masturbation

Masturbation, ahh what a glorious time. But once the fun is done men have the task of cleaning up. Aka hiding the evidence. Lol. Not sure how to clean up, or looking for a different way to approach it? We’ve got a few that you might want to write down!

Tissue:

Tried and true, a tissue is great for you. But don’t stop here, take a few of it’s cousins: toilet paper, paper towel, and other various tissue and paper products. Some are soft, and others are for maximum absorbency. What’s your preference?

Washcloth:

A washcloth, now what a nice idea. Soft and damp, not only does it pick up the mess, but it leaves you feeling extra clean. Just remember to RINSE it out. You don’t want a crusty surprise later. lol

Sock:

Hmmm. A good old sock. This option is a particularly notable one as many like to masturbate using a sock. 2-for-1. You get to masturbate, and then clean up with the same sock. But I hope you remember where you put them. Your hamper or the wash is a good idea. If you leave them around and forget what you did you may find a little surprise the next time you put on your socks!

T-shirt:

Have a dirty or torn shirt handy? Great! Don’t throw it away. There’s so much you can do with it. You can wear it to do manual labor around the house. Pun intended. Or clean the furniture. (So, is that where you leave it?) But why not use it, when you need to quickly clean up? That’s right. Pick up that load. It should be great for absorbing everything, and the cotton is nice and soft!

Plastic bag:

Right into the bag it goes. Hey, if you’re going to have a trash bag in your room, why not make use of it?

Condom:

Here’s a nice little friend, and he comes pre-lubed. Wank away, with little clean up to do. Just me mindful of this one as it puzzles many women. When you masturbate with a condom, she’ll think you’re behind her back sneaking!

Toilet:

The bathroom can be a nice place. You have a nice place to easily clean up, and if you spew into the toilet, all you must do is FLUSH.

Shower:

MMMM, a hot steamy shower indeed. You can play with or in the water. No need to worry. You’ll come out clean as a whistle, and smelling like roses. The hot water is great as it dissolves your load, just don’t take too long, or the water will run cold.

Scrap book:

Ahh, if memories are what you wish to keep this can be an amusing idea. Wrap it up tight and mark the date, and year. If a sample is not what you wish to keep you can simply keep a record book, to see just how far your soldiers can leap!

Ice tray:

Mmm a frosty treat. If your lady enjoys how you taste, this can truly bring in some spice, and heat.

Hand:

Unexpected halt to your self pleasure? When there’s nothing handy in sight, look no further. Your left, or your right will do. Now run a-long, you’ve got some choking to do.

Last but not least? Looking for something special. Well here’s something you perhaps did not know.

May is Masturbation Month!! Yes, I’m not joking. And there is an annual Masturbate-a-thon to boot. Looking to get your jollies or to enjoy a good show? Sign up, and release your load!

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